finto__ I may have mentioned this before, but when I was in junior high school I had a dislike teacher for a long time, but one day I suddenly thought, ā€œIā€™m tired of dislike him. I changed my mindset and suddenly it didnā€™t matter anymore. Dislikingā€ someone is a form of attachment that is different from ā€œlikingā€ someone, so it takes a lot of energy.

finto__ At the time, I probably had the perception that ā€œdisagreement = dislikeā€, and I felt insecure unless I divided people into ā€œlike/dislikeā€ or both. I guess I couldnā€™t accept the gradation of liking some parts (that fit with me) and not others (that didnā€™t fit with me), and I felt safe by putting them in the ā€œdislikeā€ box for now. - False dichotomy

finto__ And so, you get stuck in your own framework of thinking, and you start to see only the bad things about the person you put in the ā€œdislikeā€ box. You start to look for the bad things about the person and you can no longer see them from a flat perspective. You start wasting energy in a cycle of reassurance. This is a terrible thing, and more than anything, a waste of energy! - [framework for thought - I hate the priest, but I hate the kesa too. - color bath effect

finto__ Of course, there are many kinds of ā€œdislikeā€, and I understand that itā€™s not just cases that can be easily divided like this, and Iā€™m not forcing you to think this way. I donā€™t want to force you to think this way, but Iā€™m just saying that what you think is a gut feeling or a physiological reaction can be switched on surprisingly easily (and with a little conscious change).


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